Book Review: The Promise of Stardust

"The Promise of Stardust," written by Priscille Sibley, is a poignant debut novel about the tough choices a husband must make for his family. The novel begins with Matt losing his wife, Elle. Except she's not entirely gone; her fall from a ladder caused severe brain damage, but it didn't harm the baby inside her. After watching her mother subsist in a coma for a prolonged period while Elle was a teenager, she became vehemently opposed to being kept on life support if the circumstances ever required it for her. However, she'd never contemplated that the issue might arise while she was pregnant with the baby that she and Matt had been desperately wanting. Matt wishes to keep her on life support to give the baby a chance, but he's opposed by those family members who have a different opinion about what Elle would want done.

What Might Have Been

From the conversations I've had over the past nine months with family and friends who've experienced the sorrow of infertility or miscarriages/stillborn, I continue to believe that it is a unique grief. It is not the loss of what was, but rather, what might have been. I did not understand it before it happened to us. Nor did I realize how common it is. Now that I know what it is like to carry this sadness with me, I think about so many others who privately grieve the absent joy and potential of a child. To those of you who have experienced this loss: I am so sorry.

Last week, Katelyn's big girl bed arrived. The original plan was to move Katelyn into the spare bedroom. The nursery would become Lily's room. Prior to Katelyn's birth, I drew the murals of Lars the Polar Bear on the nursery walls to match the Artic Babies bedding set, and Ryan and I painted them. I had begun thinking about a theme for Katelyn's new room prior to losing Lily. Maybe lady bugs or butterflies. Once in a while, I still think about what I would have picked.

Book Review: About What Was Lost

 

"About What Was Lost: 20 Writers on Miscarriage, Healing, and Hope" is a compilation of essays edited by Jessica Berger Gross. The writings cast light on a topic our society tends to keep hidden. It is much easier to focus on all the happy pregnancies that end with cuddly babies and all the cute accessories that go with them. But the grief is real for all the couples who have had trouble conceiving or lost a baby. This collection attempts to put words to that lost.

The essays are beautifully written, and the emotions are raw and unfiltered. The circumstances of the authors vary, making it easy for a reader to find material to which she can relate.

Book Review: Having Children After Cancer

"Having Children After Cancer," by Gina M. Shaw gives hope and advice for young adults and children diagnosed with fertility-threatening forms of cancer. Ms. Shaw's inspiration for the comprehensive guide was her own experience. After surviving breast cancer, she is now the proud mother of one adopted child and two children via natural pregnancies.

Published in 2011, this guide is up-to-date on today's cancer treatments and assisted fertility techniques. It details: how various cancers and treatments can affect fertility; options for preserving fertility prior to treatments; pregnancy during/after cancer; alternatives to traditional conception if fertility preservation wasn't possible before treatment; and many of the emotional aspects relating to being a cancer survivor and parent.