Remission Test Results

According to my PCR test, conducted on blood drawn two weeks ago, I'm still in remission! Two years in remission now.

At my last appointment, my doctor said this hasn't been a good year for him with APL (in terms of relapses/deaths). This made me very sad to hear. And serves as a reminder that I cannot take for granted a favorable test result.

Only five days left in this ATRA round. Then I plan to celebrate this test result as any sensible woman should, by shoe shopping! (and of course eating chocolate cake)

A Cancer Patient's Perspective: The Importance of Saying "Thank you" and "I Love You"

In the fall of 2011, I  recorded a video in response to a health advocacy group's request for tips for other cancer patients. At the time, I was between rounds of Daunarubicin, and too fatigued to figure out how to email such a large file to the video editor of the website. I came across the clip on my iPad this weekend.

As I watched the exhausted, subdued woman in the video rambling on, I couldn't help but shudder. But it does serve as a good reminder for all of us cancer patients/survivors to say, "Thank you" and "I love you."

 

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day, to my mom, to all the moms, and this year, a special note of appreciation to all the swim moms!

 

I've been thinking a lot about how dedicated my mom was to me growing up. Swimming is an intense sport, and she was perfect at being a swim mom- she was supportive, and never pressured me. She came to all my meets, tracked my times, bought me the coolest swim suits, and made the sport fun. She carted me to and from an uncountable number of practices, and she served as president of the swim club multiple years, and meet director other years.  

 

Katelyn has been learning to swim this spring, and it brings back memories for both my mom and me. When my mom visited in February, we went to family swim, so that my mom could see Katelyn attempting freestyle. When my mom saw her on the pool deck, wearing her pink cap and goggles, my mom started to cry. Later, she told me that Katelyn reminded her of me at that age, and she couldn't help but think that back then, she never could have imagined me getting as sick as I did.

 

But on to happier thoughts! Now my mom and I get to enjoy Katelyn's love of the pool. Will she become a swimmer? Who knows. Though she does grin the entire time during swim lessons, and she's determined to advance to Eel level.

 

And another happy thought: next year, fingers crossed, I will feel well on Mother's Day. This morning, I woke with massive head pain. Ryan and my dad took Katelyn for a walk to give me some quiet time. This is my third year of feeling sick on Mother's Day, but it's worth it because hopefully it means I'll be healthy on Mother's Day next year.

 

Have a wonderful day everyone!

  

 

 

 

 

ATRA - Round 7 of 8

This morning I started my seventh round of ATRA (al trans retinoic acid, or Tretinoin), and I already feel crummy. In the past, I've been better prepared before a round starts, with my medicines organized, my survival supplies stocked (G2 Gatorade and blue corn tortilla chips). This round, I started a day late because of a project at work, and I didn't get home from work until 10pm last night. I didn't even take the time to think through my strategy for the pain / nausea management (each round I've tried different combinations of drugs and timing). Yes, I was busy at work, but also, I think I'm experiencing a bit of treatment regimen fatigue. By this evening, when I'm really feeling crummy, I'm sure I'll be regretting my lack of preparedness, but at least my dad will be here shortly to help. Only one more round after this!

Get out the Vote!

My new friend, Elizabeth Grant, is entered in the More 2013 Beauty Search. The judging is based 50% on looks and 50% on the inspirational quality of the entrants's 300 word essay. There's a Reader's Choice component to the competition-- a $1,000 prize for the entrant who gets the most votes by May 16th.

Elizabeth is a beautiful soul, who's attitude and courage while fighting stage IV breast cancer is inspiring and humbling. As the saying goes, "Please vote early and often."

Below is the text from Elizabeth's original post on www.deadmanskipping.com*, which gives the details for voting for her:

If you haven't heard, I've decided to step outside the box and do something that I would not normally do....enter a beauty contest! Actually, I like to view it as an opportunity to share my story and perhaps inspire a hurting soul or two.

If you'd like to support me by voting, I'll tell you how. But first, you can learn about this contest here. It's for MORE Magazine and sponsored by Olay and Cover Girl. I'm entering because 50% of the judging is based on a written inspirational story of my life. The Grand Prize winner is chosen by a set of judges, but there is also a separate "Reader's Choice" winner — which is chosen by YOU (all readers). Here's how to vote.....

• The voting begins today and runs through May 16th.
• You may vote once per day.
• You must have a Facebook account in order to vote.
• Go to this site and click on the VOTE NOW button.
• [NOTE: You may have to "like" the site before it'll let you access my voting page.]
• NOTE: Unfortunately, voting won't work on mobile devices. Sorry.

Thank you!

Source: Elizabeth Grant, Dead Man Skipping Blog, April 25, 2013.  http://www.deadmanskipping.com/2013/04/more-beauty-contestvoting-begins.html

Guest Contribution - A Poem by Elizabeth Grant

Elizabeth Grant

I met Elizabeth less than a week ago, yet I already feel a connection to her. She's one of those rare people who can touch your life merely by extending her hand. She's a big believer in therapeutic writing, and the words she writes are as soothing as music. Her steadfast faith in God, in the face of adversity, is inspiring, and comforting. We met in a rather amusing way, which for now shall remain a secret. I hope we become great friends, for I think she may be my writing soul mate.

Elizabeth wrote the below poem for a friend of hers, and I loved it so much I asked her to adapt it for me and allow me to post it here. But first, a little bit on Elizabeth, in her own words on her blog, www.deadmanskipping.com:

"I was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer in 2004 at age 28. Bilateral mastectomy, chemotherapy, hair loss, forced menopause and five years later, I was pronounced cancer free. But on that sixth year, the cancer came back with a vengeance. I now have stage 4 breast cancer that has metastasized to my bones, brain and liver.  I have been married to my high school sweetheart and childhood friend, Dale, for 15 years. I have 2 children: Marielle (born in 2001) and Josiah (born in 2003)... the true love of my life is God --- my Savior, my Friend. Oh, what would I do and where would I be without Him? He gives me a strange peace that can only be described as a breath of His holiness."

Elizabeth, thank you for allowing me to share (and keep for future reading) the below.

TO LOSE IS TO GAIN
by Elizabeth Grant

It doesn't seem quite fair to me
To lose a child this way;
To carry such a precious life
And have her snatched away.

I've questioned "Why" so many times;
Why God allows such pain;
To take a helpless, unborn child...
Oh, what is there to gain?

I carry my sweet unborn babe
Down deep inside my heart;
I ache to hold and kiss and hug
and never be apart.

I wish it all would go away;
I wish with all my might;
I've grieved and tried hard to let go
But peace is not in sight.

Then I heard the voice of God;
He whispered in my ear:
My child, I love you more than life
No need to shed a tear.

I'm not a heartless Father,
My hope is that you'll see
I've given you a special gift
For all eternity.

I haven't taken her away
from you, I gave her life;
Unblemished is her little soul
And safe from hurt and strife.

I needed you to carry her
Inside your womb, you see;
How else could I create and give
This gift to you, from Me?

Your babe was meant to live with Me
Until I bring you here;
So I can bless you on that day
With a gift you'll hold so dear.

You'll get to see your Lily's face,
Shining like the sun;
It's then you'll come to realize
Your life has just begun.

I'm keeping her in constant care;
She's waiting here for you
To hug and kiss and hold real tight
As only moms can do.

Please hear My words and go in peace;
Live life and be set free;
No need to shed another tear;
Live happy as can be.

And when you think about your babe
Please think of Me as well;
For all of us will live as one
And never say: Farewell

NJ News 12 Phone Interview for First Descents / Half-Marathon Participation

 

Below is the video of my phone interview with Della Crews on NJ News 12 television. We discussed my participation in the More Magazine's / Fitness Magazine's Women's Half-Marathon in Central Park last Sunday, which was the first segment in my Aggregate IronMan Challenge for First Descents. So far, our team for the challenge is seven strong, and we hope to add more. While I'm home during my next chemo round, I plan to put together a team page on this blog, to highlight our athletes' progress.

 

Rob and Katelyn watched the interview live. Before hand, he situated her on the couch, with a blanket and snack. When the segment came on, Katelyn was disappointed; she'd thought they were about to watch American Idol. Sorry to disappoint, Sweetie...