Friday, March 30, 2012

One Year Later


A year ago today, Lily's heart stopped beating, and the rest of our lives changed.

This morning, Ryan dropped me off at the edge of Central Park, and I walked to work, enjoying signs of the season I missed last year. And thinking about that ultrasound appointment. Thinking about Ryan, Katelyn, my parents.

My parents flew in to support us after we lost the baby, before we knew I was sick. That's just how they are. Always there for us. I know they made several trips in the weeks that followed my diagnosis. I don't know how many. I have blurred memories of them sitting next to my hospital bed. I wish they'd been walking through Central Park with me this morning, though at least I will see them tonight.

Today is the first in a series of one-year anniversaries. Sunday will mark one year since a doctor first told me something was wrong with my blood. Next Saturday will be one year since my diagnosis. Each of these one-year anniversaries will stir traumatic flashbacks, but also good memories.

Today, I'm thinking about all that my parents did for me last year, and feeling really lucky to have them.