Monday, December 12, 2011

Health Update

This morning my doctor rechecked my blood cell counts. They are all still normal, which is a huge relief, considering acute promyelocytic leukemia is a very aggressive disease. She drew blood for a PCR test, for which I may get the result as early as Wednesday.

This past weekend was the hardest my family's had since I came home from the hospital. For the first time in a while, we were worrying about: the the possibility of spending Christmas in the hospital; a bone marrow transplant (and losing any chance of having another child); the inevitable fear of "What if a BMT doesn't work?"; and would Katelyn have any memory of me?

It's hard not to imagine the worst case scenarios when the side pain acts as a constant reminder. It's impossible to refrain from Googling APL symptoms, and everything else along that line of thought. The only time I'd ever felt that rib pain before was preceding my diagnosis and during the first weeks of my hospital stay.

Yesterday afternoon, I was lying on my bed, crying, and Katelyn walked into the room. She noticed my state, lowered her chin to her chest, and said, "Sorry Mommy." She was apologizing because she thought I was hurting from when she bit me on the shoulder earlier that day. A good tickle distracted both of us. I am thankful she is still young enough for that to be a sufficient response.

Hopefully the tests come back clean and this turns out to be just one of those things that comes with the territory of being a survivor.