If life hadn't twisted, the nursery furniture would have stayed in the polar bear room. Instead, Ryan dismantled it and carried it to the basement. All the other baby odds and ends that should have been used again were packed up. Just like that, our hopes for Lily were placed in boxes and relegated to the basement. The physical action of adjusting our house to that without a baby created a sad sense of finality for both Ryan and me. Although the items Lily should have been using have been stored, it's not as easy to tuck away grief.
Fortunately, we are blessed with Katelyn, whose big girl bed now fills the polar bear nursery. The pictures were taken before she was born, and are what the room should have looked like when Lily moved in. Luckily, the big girl version is just as happy, except not as photogenic. With a two year old, the Rapunzel doll, the stuffed yellow peanut M&M, and the Duplo blocks don't stay where they belong for long. Just like her room, life can be messy. All we can do is try our best to straighten it up.